Our intention is to help you achieve epic performance in your life and your relationships. Today’s podcast on forgiveness discusses a principle that if ignored will have a negative impact on your possibilities.
Why do we need to forgive? To live free, to live liberated, to maximize your performance and your influence. Not forgiving is like running a race carrying burdensome weight. It slows you down and limits your performance. Forgiveness of yourself is absolutely paramount.
Forgiving requires deep humility, the humility seen in Level 5 Leaders (see Good to Great by Jim Collins). Forgiving is a manifestation of the growth mindset, believing that people can grow, improve and change. If you find it challenging to forgive coworkers, employees, a boss, or family members, it may be an indication of having a fixed mindset.
Failure is our most efficient teacher. Forgive yourself over and over again. We don’t penalize children learning to walk or ride a bike for falling and failing. Similar applications can be made as we deal with our own shortcomings and the weaknesses of others.
Honoring the Four Agreements (Don Miguel Ruiz) with yourself will facilitate forgiving others:
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Do your very best
These four agreements will free YOU from unjust judgments you’ve made about yourself and others.
So how do we start? If you want to change a relationship, you must first change your context or paradigm. You must remove the glasses that you see that person through. Every individual we have a relationship has a unique lens we see them through, created on our past experiences we’ve had with them, and/or the lens others have shared with us based on their experiences or the lenses others have shared with them. Forgiving others requires us to remove these lenses and see people with fresh eyes. This is best done by making the attempt to see the world through their eyes, without judgment. Seemingly impossible, the effort, the attempt is what creates the new context and the possibility to change the relationship.
Be free. Liberate yourself. Forgive!